Yes, it's so bad to be depressed. To feel an anger and rage swirling around in the depths of your brain that radiates out your limbs and makes you want to break a bone or two, all the while singing "He will come and save you" in your head. To hear that sigh, to know it means "No.. not this again" and to feel an emptiness all around you. Not just within you but around you, as though those who are meant to be there really don't want to be, and you are physically alone. When I hear that sigh, I just want to run as fast as I can and as far as I can, so that I burden nobody with this shit that I'm going through? Sounds so ridiculous and self pitying, but it's the truth. It's so hard to live in this place with this body and this mind and not feel that either I need to have my own apartment or that he needs to move out.

I'm going to run away.