It's really hard to leave your comfort zone, acquire new friends in a faraway place, change your lifestyle, your thoughts, the way you speak, then encounter losing all those friends (literally all) and then thinking you could find new friends through your boyfriend, doing everything you can to be on the same page as them, be hospitable to them, nice to them all the time, tolerate being the only one to not understand a word they speak and being told to "shut up" all the time, only to find out, you'll never really be a part of that group. They'll still just always be someone else's friends. If I didn't have any of my own friends left I wouldn't give a shit and I wouldn't be so sad about the fact that the people I thought I was actually becoming friends with are just.. well, what can I do? So here's my hiatus. My break. I'm pulling myself away from the group because it just fucking hurts that people are going out of their way to make me feel like I don't belong.
It's time for me to figure out who I am without friends - something really hard for me, since I've said that life would be meaningless without friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment